My Scribles

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me Sir, can you help me? I promised a friend, I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am." The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." ''You must be an engineer," said the lady balloonist. "I am", replied the man. 'How did you know?' ''Well", answered the lady in the balloon, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more." The engineer below responded, "You must be in Top Management." ''I ...

RESUME  EDUCATION /Qualification:  1950: Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Punjab University , Chandigarh ,  1952; Stood first in MA (Economics), Punjab University , Chandigarh , 1954; Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College , Cambridge ,  1955 and 1957; Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge , 1957; DPhil ( Oxford ), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India 's export competitiveness OCCUPATION /Teaching Experience  : Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59; Reader, Economics, 1959-63;  Professor, Economics, Punjab University , Chandigarh , 1963-65;  Professor,International Trade, Delhi School of Economics,University of Delhi,1969-71 ; Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University ,New Delhi,1976 and   Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi ,1996 and Civil Servant  Working Experience/ POSITIONS  : 1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade  1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance 1976-80: Director, Re...

Very Interesting....must read ................. Currently almost all oil buying and selling is in US-dollars through exchanges in London and New York . It is not accidental they are both US-owned. The Wall Street crash in 1929 sparked off global depression and World War II. During that war the US supplied provisions and munitions to all its allies, refusing currency and demanding gold payments in exchange. By 1945, 80% of the world's gold was sitting in US vaults. The dollar became the one undisputed global reserve currency - - it was treated world-wide as `safer than gold'. The Bretton Woods agreement was established. The US took full advantage over the next decades and printed dollars like there was no tomorrow . The US exported many mountains of dollars, paying for ever-increasing amounts of commodities, tax cuts for the rich, many wars abroad, mercenaries, spies and politicians the world over. You see, this did not affect inflation at home! The US got it all for free! Well...

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

Friends ......those of you in India planning for iPhone... THINK TWICE BEFORE MAKING A DECISION... The short comings of iPhone are endless... No video calling, no AD2P on the Bluetooth, CAN'T share ANY (mp3, images,videos....) files via bluetooth, can't use as a wireless modem, (you pay ridiculous data charges to activate internet on your phone , but cannot connect it to your PC and browse when you are at home) no copy and paste,(cannot copy a part of a.... say.... email & send it....have to type it out yourself) no 3.2 or 5 megapixel camera ,(the 2MP camera it carries is worst camera i've ever seen..... photos look like they have come out of a VGA camera) no video recording with camera, no front camera, no flash. no JAVA support No physical keyboard (BELIEVE me! this alone is a dealbreaker...touch keyboard as good as it looks...once you use it then only you come to know about the importance of having a hard keypad) No 3G network yet in India ..so why pay for expensive ...

To realize The value of a sister Ask someone Who doesn't have one. To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple. To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate. To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam. To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born. To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby. To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize The value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet. To realize The value of one minute: Ask a p erson Who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident... To! realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special. To realize the valu...

1. Some Basic definitions.. Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks. Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback... Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is... Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is. Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen. Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot. Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.) Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time.... Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep. Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?...

Bengali One Bengali = poet. Two Bengalis = a film society. Three Bengalis = chatting with cigarettes in hand. Four Bengalis = political party. More than four Bengalis = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguly into Team. Bihari One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav . Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis = train capture. Four Biharis = caste riots Five Biharis = entire literate population of Patna … Punjabi One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky. Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky. Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds. Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one. Mallu One Mallu = coconut stall. Two Mallus = a boat race. Three Mallus = Gulf job racket. Four Mallus = oil slick. UP Bhaiyya One UP bhaiyya = a milkman. Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop. Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly. Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad. Gujju One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train. Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train. Thr...

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE When you rearrange the letters: FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL DILIP VENGSARKAR When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE BARA THEDA When you rearrange the letters: ARAB DEATH PRINCESS DIANA When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE ...

Forgiving or punishing the terrorists is left to God. But, fixing their appointment with God is our responsibility - Indian Army Forgiving or punishing the Developer is left to Manager. But, fixing their appointment with Manager is our responsibility ...

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect..... . so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. One should love animals. They are so tasty. Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. Success is a relative term. More the success, more the relatives Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours God made relatives; Thank G...

Population: 100 crore 9 crore retired 30 crore in state Govt;17 crore in central Govt. (Both categories don't work) 1 crore IT professional (don't work for India 25 crore in school 1 crore are under 5 years 15 crore unemployed 1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy marriedlife?"Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respectto each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."X asked, "Can you explain?"Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as mywife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other'sdecisions."Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amountto save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etcare decided by my wife. I just agree to it"X asked, "Then what is your role?"Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whetherAmerica should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction overZimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkarshould retire etc ...

This is a true story happened to me recently. my family have appilied for new voter identity card in trivandrum north consistency of loksabha. All the people where asked to submit the appilication. Then all the people are asked to come to village office with relevant document. the number who turnedup for the hearing was huge and there was no adequate staff and facility in the office to do the same. some how my family manged to get through all sought of the hearing . we alll have filled the form in the same manner and shown the same document for support. finally they taken the photo and given a memeo card and send us saying they will give the card in two month . after two month in march 2008 i went to collect the material. i found that every information in the card is wrong. there are 3 address given for 4 memeber of the same family who have shown same document as support. More over the quality of the Card issued was very poor. i have seen that the certain college and hospital use lamin...

A Sheikh was admitted at the Lilavati Hospital in Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.Finally a malayalee named Rajappan Trichur ,Kerala was located who had a similar type of blood. Rajappan willingly donated his blood for the Sheikh. After the surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan asappreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a Million Dinars. Once again the Sheikh had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned Rajappan who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. Rajappan was shocked to see that the Sheikh this time did not reciprocate Rajappan's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Sheikh...

Bill's company made software to run a car. Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side. Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes. A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?" Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire. In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door. He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams. Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane. A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed. All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died. Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell." Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please." Messeng...