My Scribles

God decided to encourage people to have fewer children and introduced an award scheme… During the procedure at one point, he concentrated on learning about the situation in India : He first met Jawaharlal Nehru in heaven, and asked him how many children he had during his time on earth. Nehru replied… only one! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God awarded Nehru with a Celestial Rolls Royce! Indira Gandhi was next, and God asked the same question. She replied she had two children, and God thought, not too bad, so he gave her a BMW. Dr. Radhakrishnan was next in line. God was not pleased to hear that he had six children, and gave him a Morris-8 as a kind of punishment… Sometime later, the three (Nehru, Indira and Radhakrishnan) going around in their new cars, saw Mahatma Gandhi on foot!!! Wondering what went wrong; they asked why God hadn't been merciful with him… The Mahatma replied in disgust, "God did not even ask me!!! Some idiots had told him that I a...

Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and cross...

PLEASE READ CAREFULLY & NEVER TRY TO UNINSTALL WIFE 1.0..... BECAUSE WIFE 1.0 IS OPERATING SYSTEM & UR LIFE. QUERY Dear Tech Support Team: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks,"A Troubled User" REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is ...

Population: 100 crore 9 crore retired 30 crore in state Govt;17 crore in central Govt. (Both categories don't work) 1 crore IT professional (don't work for India 25 crore in school 1 crore are under 5 years 15 crore unemployed 1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy marriedlife?"Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respectto each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."X asked, "Can you explain?"Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as mywife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other'sdecisions."Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amountto save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etcare decided by my wife. I just agree to it"X asked, "Then what is your role?"Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whetherAmerica should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction overZimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkarshould retire etc ...

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.' The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'The woman said, 'That's okay.' For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'. The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.'So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, 'That will make your husband ...

When u r in light, everything will follow u. But when u enter dark, even your own shadow will not follow uthat is life God made relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends Money glitters, beauty sparkles, and intelligence shines. Keep a very firm grasp on reality, so you can strangle it at any time. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're getting. People may not always believe what you say, but they will believe what you do. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. You can't have everything - where would you put it? Laugh and the world ignore you. Crying doesn't help either. God is not moved or impressed with our worship until our hearts are moved and impressed by Him. Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting. Never trust a person who isn't having at least one crisis. Goodness is the only investment that never fails. The only thing lazy people...

scenario 1 Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,then a fourth andthey start arguing about who s right - you are in Kolkata. scenario 2 two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,sees them and walks on – that’s Mumbai. scenario 3 two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along &tries to makepeace. the first two get together & beat him up - that’s Delhi . scenario 4 two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guycomes along andquietly opens a chai stall - that s Ahmadabad. scenario 5 two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. he writes a software program to solve the issue but the fight does not stopbecause of a bug in the program. that s Bangalore . scenario 6 two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guycomes along and quietly says "anna, dont fight for all this nonsense". peace comes in - that s Chennai. scenario 7 two guys are fighting. both of them take time out andcall their friends on mobile. now 50 guys are fighting. you ...

A Sheikh was admitted at the Lilavati Hospital in Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.Finally a malayalee named Rajappan Trichur ,Kerala was located who had a similar type of blood. Rajappan willingly donated his blood for the Sheikh. After the surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan asappreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a Million Dinars. Once again the Sheikh had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned Rajappan who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. Rajappan was shocked to see that the Sheikh this time did not reciprocate Rajappan's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Sheikh...

Bill's company made software to run a car. Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side. Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes. A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?" Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire. In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door. He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams. Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane. A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed. All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died. Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell." Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please." Messeng...

Arguing with boss is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time, u realize that u r getting dirty, but the pig is actually enjoying. Boys go to college to develop the mind; girls go to college to catch them before this happens. How amazing!! A mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 years, but a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 minutes.

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving. 2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee. 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash. 5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms. 6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. 8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it. 9. True friends stab you in the front. 10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me. 11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and s...