My Scribles

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other! MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power! DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! ...

SINKING a cup of coffee before going to the gym helps to reduce pain during exercise, it was claimed yesterday. Its caffeine blocks receptors that make the brain aware of aching muscles, said health expert Prof Robert Motl. He made the link after drinking coffee before competing in cycle races. Prof Motl, of Illinois, hopes it will encourage reluctant gym visitors to stick with exercising.

Why are we asking this now? Because it's that day again: after another boring 364 days of sober honesty all round, the beloved annual festival of practical jokery is upon us once more. If you're reading this before midday, it's your one chance in the year to pull the wool over somebody's eyes with impunity. So why are the rules different on 1 April? The stories surrounding the origin of April Fool's Day are widely various and it's hard to be certain about the truth – especially when you consider that people feel they have carte blanche to make things up when it comes to this subject. Still, whether it's true or not, one popular tale dates the tradition to 1564, when France formally changed its calendar to the modern Gregorian version, and thereby moved the celebration of the New Year from the last week of March to 1 January. In this version of events, those who continued to celebrate the end of New Year's Week on 1 April were derided as fools – or, as th...

Bengali One Bengali = poet. Two Bengalis = a film society. Three Bengalis = chatting with cigarettes in hand. Four Bengalis = political party. More than four Bengalis = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguly into Team. Bihari One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav . Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis = train capture. Four Biharis = caste riots Five Biharis = entire literate population of Patna … Punjabi One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky. Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky. Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds. Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one. Mallu One Mallu = coconut stall. Two Mallus = a boat race. Three Mallus = Gulf job racket. Four Mallus = oil slick. UP Bhaiyya One UP bhaiyya = a milkman. Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop. Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly. Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad. Gujju One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train. Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train. Thr...