My Scribles

Office Language.... ... 1.."We will do it" means" You will do it" 2."You have done a great job" means" More work will be given to you" 3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working it" 4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" Its not getting done, At least not till tomorrow!" 5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means" I have already decided, I will tell you what to do. 6."There was a slight miscommunication" means" We lied" 7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time to talk now" 8."We can always do it" means" We cannot do it on time" 9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "We screwed up, we cannot deliver on time." 10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We fought" 11.&q

This is said to be among the greatest paradox Many years ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fees. The student struck a deal saying, "I will pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court". Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal and pushed days. Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves. The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money". Equally brilliant, the student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don

My Thesis topic is developing " An AGENT BASED SYSTEM FOR QUALITY ASSURANCE". The main aim of the work is to develop a agent based system for quality control. with increasing level of competition there is need for higher level of quality .The quality requirement as also changed from micron to nano level of percision. Not only the individual who perform the task need to be perfect but also the machine, process which perform the task need to be perfect.To achieve this continue montoring of the performance data is required. With the developement of the ERP based system it is possible to acquire online data for quality related analysis. The aim of the work is to develop and agent based sytem used for the such type of quality Analyis related activity which will help the decision maker so that higher quality standards can be achieved.

v Strengthen the Public Distribution System by universalizing it; restore the cut in food grain allocations to the states under the PDS; include 15 essential commodities including pulses, edible oil, and sugar in the PDS. v Put curbs on procurement of foodgrains from farmers by private companies and traders.v Ban futures trading in 25 agricultural commodities as proposed by the Parliamentary Standing Committee on Food, Consumer Affairs and Public Distribution. v Cut customs and excise duties on oil and reduce retail prices of petrol and diesel. v Take stringent action against hoarding of essential commodities; strengthen the provisions of the Essential Commodities Act to empower state governments to deal with hoarding and black-marketing. v The present requirement of declaration of stocks of foodgrains of 50,000 tonnes and above held in godowns and warehouses should be lowered to 10,000 tonnes.end

1. Some Basic definitions.. Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks. Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback... Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is... Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is. Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen. Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot. Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.) Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time.... Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep. Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?&quo

Matthew, Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, killed by a sword wound. Mark, Died in Alexandria , Egypt , after being dragged by horses through the streets until he was dead. Luke was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous preaching to the lost. John, Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution in Rome . However, he was miraculously delivered from death. John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison island of Patmos . He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos . The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve as Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey . He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully. Peter was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross. According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die in the same way that Jesus Christ had died. James, Just The leader of the church in Jerusalem , was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of

Bengali One Bengali = poet. Two Bengalis = a film society. Three Bengalis = chatting with cigarettes in hand. Four Bengalis = political party. More than four Bengalis = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguly into Team. Bihari One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav . Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis = train capture. Four Biharis = caste riots Five Biharis = entire literate population of Patna … Punjabi One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky. Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky. Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds. Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one. Mallu One Mallu = coconut stall. Two Mallus = a boat race. Three Mallus = Gulf job racket. Four Mallus = oil slick. UP Bhaiyya One UP bhaiyya = a milkman. Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop. Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly. Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad. Gujju One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train. Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train. Thr

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE When you rearrange the letters: FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL DILIP VENGSARKAR When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE BARA THEDA When you rearrange the letters: ARAB DEATH PRINCESS DIANA When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

Forgiving or punishing the terrorists is left to God. But, fixing their appointment with God is our responsibility - Indian Army Forgiving or punishing the Developer is left to Manager. But, fixing their appointment with Manager is our responsibility

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days. The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks. Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ........( 2 MARKS ) Q.2. Which tyre burst ?........... ....( 98 MARKS ) a) Fron

this is my 100th post in my blog.... curently i am busy with my thesis work and also suffering viral fever because of which i found less time to post materials into the blog...

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect..... . so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. One should love animals. They are so tasty. Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. Success is a relative term. More the success, more the relatives Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours God made relatives; Thank G

summer of 2008 have started today with collegend school in south india have closed for the vacation. this is the period in which the children spend time in playing and enjoying... the hottest of the summer started to rise. but have some relieve due to the high amount of summer shower. student try to enjoy as much as possible at the same time use the time fruitfully.